It’s hard to just let you go, but the reality is that our relationship was never built on love and trust. I have tried my whole life to earn your love and approval, but you couldn’t give me something that you didn’t have. I forgive you for that.
I don’t know all that you experienced as a child growing up and I can’t explain the choices you made once you married my mom. I don’t know why you weren’t faithful and didn’t value us, but chose to chase after deviance and deceit. I know how I felt: unloved and unwanted.
I don’t understand why you hurt me or mom or our family. I wanted to believe you were nice and that you loved us. I have good memories with you, but so many times you turned on me. You would make me feel guilty for your struggles and anger like everything was my fault. I tried to make you happy and fix our family, but your own words tell your true feelings towards me, “Paula, you have been a bad daughter and I have been a good dad.” All I can say is that I tried my whole life to please you, and I was never good enough. I can’t keep sacrificing myself for you. I belong to Jesus now and He has set me free from having to please others for approval. He accepts me as I am.
After you hurt us, you would try to make up for it by gifts or making us feel bad for you, but we were never allowed to acknowledge that you hurt us. You never would admit you were wrong or say you're sorry. And if you said you’re sorry, it was only to get what you wanted. I forgive you for manipulating me, but I will not continue this pattern with you.
Even though you may never be able to see or recognize the ways you hurt me, I am letting that pain go. I pray that God will give you light. I forgive you for being manipulative and only seeing your own needs. I forgive you for hurting me and our family. I forgive you for raping my innocence and calling it love. I forgive you for not loving me because you couldn't give me something you didn't have.
I pray that you will desire to walk in truth and light and that God will have mercy on you. God is my Daddy and I belong to Him. I choose to walk in the light and not deny the truth any longer. I am not going to let other people control my life anymore. I am God’s and He will protect me and keep me safe.
What Satan meant for evil, God works to good. There is always Hope to turn to God and I pray that you do.
In true love,